" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Phillipians 4:13

Like a Child

I feel joy bubbling in me, like a child all in smiles.

I feel peace spreading in me, like the music fills the air.

The spirit comes knocking, and a voice’s calling,

Seek me child, and be in prayer.

Excitement rose, and God’s presence shows.

Sadness and despair peeling away.

Run to him.

Like a child, blameless and pure.

Like a child, hope and joy once restore.

Like a Child coming before God.

Today, I had an encounter with God. It wasn't like any other times. It was something different than the last few times.

First, I felt myself crumbling. My heart started pounding faster and faster. When Pastor Steve touched me, it was as if someone triggered of a spark in me. The next thing I knew, I was heaving very heavily . Very heavily. And then it slowly fade away. I knew at that time all I could think of was, "Don't go. Stay."

Then it was total numbness.

Everything was going on, moving around me. I could hear voices people talking. But there I was. Unable to move. Unable to talk at all. I wanted to suck in the drool that i know was about to fall but i couldn't. I lose total control of my body. It was like I, I've been paralyzed. My head was a total blank. I wanted to suck in the drool but someone was telling me, not too. Let it fall, don't care about anything around you. And sat there, unable to move. All this time I was crying out in my head, "Pray for me, pray for me"

My head started lowering, till it hit my chest.

The next thing I knew was that my leg started trembling. my left first, then the right. It started shaking vigorously and then it stopped. I woke up smiling. Smiling like never before.

I got up and walked towards Paster Paul and asked him to pray for me. I fell to my knees before he started. My legs were like jelly. He started praying and then it was the hand, then the whole body. It felt like my whole body was not in my control any longer. I was like jelly, and there was something controlling me. Controlling each and every movement. I knew i was on the floor, kneeling down and then laying down. I don't know how long i was on the floor for. I could her people talking, asking me if I was alright. Pastor explaining to them how it was not good to wake someone up.

I could her them talking, but my mind was blank. I switched positions quite a couple of times. But when I got up, i knew i was smiling, I felt joy in the heart. I couldn't stop smiling. I felt like a child reborn. My whole body still felt numb. Still not in my control, still jelly. I knew I got up, only to fall onto the ground again. There was joy.

Just joy. Just like a newborn child

I did things that were not in my control. It was an experience i know I will never forget.

There's so many things, so much i could say to express the joy. this joy i feel.

Ask me, and i shall speak.

Seek him. Seek him. Seek him.

I don't now what tomorrow holds. But I know that for now, for this time being, I'm refreshed. Whatever tomorrow holds, I shall not liveby them. I shall put everything in his hands.

Another thing I've learnt, Simple faith. Sometimes simple faith can be mistaken for arrogance and people fear them. But with faith, really, nothing is impossible.

So people out there. Even if there's no encounter with God, there'll be one day. You've just got to wait and that one day will come knocking at you at the most unexpected, most amazing time. And when that time comes, lose control of yourself and let God be in control.

Tsk tsk

I hate having to feel the way i do. I totally, absolutely hate it. Now, I'm just waiting for it to go away, like it always do everytime it comes. Will it?

HOls

I want to do so many things during this holidays...

1. Read a Christian Book
2. Get out off Singapore
3. Catch up with Crusade friends
4. Meet up Close friends
5. Read more story books
6. Complete my story from before
7. Sort out all my thoughts and feelings
8. Stay at home and do nothing at all
9. Save money
10. Sleep till the sun shines on my butt

The list can go on and on, but for now, 10 will do.

Today, or rather 4 hours ago we had combined cell. And boy do I have to admit, I'm getting old! They played "Freeze and melt", "virus", "werewolf," and "mmh chi chi". Out of all the games, 2 required running, and at the end of each round, or rather halfway through each round, I would stop and take a long break to catch my breath.

Note to self: Jolene, you need to start exercising more to catch up with the young ones.

Well, I guess it was fun and good watching the kids interact with each other through simple games like those.

Ok, gotta wake up at 8 plus in the morning tmr. Maybe I'll take a christian book out to read now?

Shh...

I'm waiting for my bro to sleep so I can on the light on do things, in the light. So, yes... I'm typing in the dark. If there was a prize for typing in the dark, I'll definitely win 2nd prize!

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately - relationships, work, friends etc. And I can't help but feel that everyone is drifting away from me. Friends, family, especially family. My cousin in particular. As much as I don't wanna force my opinions, there are times when I don't really approve of some things. But being typical me, I don't know how to say it without hurting feelings or without sounding like a know-it-all.

Maybe its my age that's catching up, making me feel that there are a lot of things which could have been done better, or should be done in another way. All these are making me feel unsatisfied and whiny.

Maybe because my closest friends are going on a different path, it makes me feel lonely and sad. Maybe because they were always around when I needed them, or just because they are around, and even though I don't talk to them, their presence comforts me.

Oh, the light is on! Jeremy's gonna come in to do work.

As I was saying, although I don't have talk much to them, I knew they'd be around when I needed to approach someone. But now that I know they're gonna be MIA for at least a few months or a year, I can't help but feel sad...

Just maybe because, maybe because. I'm starting to sound like a old hag.

Alright, its back to studies for me.

Amazing grace

Another variation of Amazing Grace

Everlasting God

Nice Version of Everlasting God by Lincoln Brewster

You're 21!

Oh yes, although you wouldn't even see this, but here's one for you!

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY ERIC!!!

Although you keep pang seh-ing us, and bo jio-ing us,
we love you all the same. Touching right?

Boy to Man

That was the tagline for the slideshow today.

Today was David's enlistment day. Its was nostalgic seeing him enter the camp. And yes, I'm gonna miss having him around. Hopefully this blur sotong will become for alert and bright :D At least, Jin Le would be around to watch his back. Not always, but its good to enter camp with a good buddy right?

But today got me thinking about how soon, the 3 guys in my house will all fly away into camp turning from boys to real men. As much as I want them to mature, I'm gonna miss babying them (with exceptional of the oldest one). Haha, gosh, I sound like a mom. What to do? Who ask me to be the only girl at home. Stop growing so fast!

Then I thought about how women have to send the men off into army during war time, and to wait helplessly for their return.

I've been rather angsty and impatient the past few days, and I really don't know why is that so. Is it 'cause I've lack of sleep.

Where got time?

I'm really amazed at how my cousin can afford time to post about her life!

Well, that day when Clarissa say, "How do you know whether God exists? It's through other people's life". I paused for a moment and started thinking whose life have I seen God's work. The immediate person that popped out in my mind was my very dear cousin.

I've been watching her, from the day she came to knew and accepted Christ. I guess, being the older one i can't help but always wonder if she really knew who God was or whether she was doing it for some unknown reason etc.

But lately I've come to realise that God was working in her life. And that is a very great encouragement :)

Can't wait for Chinese New Year to come around and once it's here. I don't want it to end = deadlines :(

I think i spent quite a lot this month... Must cut down!

New Year Resolution:

- Read a christian book
- Lose 3 kg
- Spend more time studying
- Spend more time with cell

One by one...

They are all gonna enter into the world of manhood... Guns and all...

Why do I feel saddened by that?

I really should be doing work :P

I really should be doing my school work, but as you can see... I'm too lazy to get started...

Well, went to Uncle's house today and it was a good harvest. Well, uncle is this cleaner in my school who does calligraphy on my school tiles. He really is a very inspirational person. Mind you, his 83 this year and he builds his on stuff from scratch. He built wooden chairs, a brush stand, a door frame etc. He say he used to be a carpenter. I really admire his energy level and his ability to move around so vividly.

My shopping list: get uncle new papers for calligraphy, and occasional snacks :)

So, I've decided against coming up with a post for my Korea trip. Its too long and I'm too busy for that. Maybe when I've time. Instead, I shall put up pictures here and then and describe them :D.

Day 1 in Korea, Group photo outside the palace

Day 2 in Korea at the Ski resort. The youths.

Us, with Brian, Ethan, Tim and Matt at the
top of the Ski mountain.

Day 4/5 - At the top of the mountain where everyone was
freezing, people got blown away by the strong wind.

The last picture is my favourite group shot :) That was when everyone knew each other quite well already. Unlike the first 2 shots, we were much closer - in distance. I miss those days :( Looking forward to March though! haha.

Alright, hopefully, typing this post has gotten me started with my thinking process and inspiration for my work. Till then :)

I've got a feeling

There's this type of feeling.

You feel that it's there, but yet, you know its not suppose to be there. It's wrong but yet you can't help it.

It feels like it, but yet again, it feels another.

It's 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!! :)

So, here's how I spent my first day of the new year.

After watch night service, we, a whole bunch of us, went to Meng Ren's grandfather's wake. Well, I think it was a different yet enriching day. I expect MR's grandmother to be sad and all, but no, she was happy and cheery. She told us about how she know that she was going to heaven after she pass away, and that thought, going to heaven to meet everyone makes her very happy.

Truthfully, that was the first wake I've been to where I don't see a depressed spouse. It reminded me yet again that to know God is really a privilege and that we shouldn't take that fact for granted.

On the side note, I don't like people who gamble during a wake. Ya, it can get boring staying there the whole morning, but come on, its kinda disrespectful.

We reached back in corp around 4 plus in the morning.

On New Year's eve, me and yong went to visit Brian and his family. Mainly to visit Ethan and to see their house. We brought dragged Brian to watch night service :)

Actually I have so much in mind that I don't know what to type. I'm supposed to post about Korea, but I'm kinda lazy now. Haha. Shall do it some time later when I'm more free.

For now, it shall be back to doing my awful website :(