Picture :D

Guan You complained that my posts are wordy..... Hmph! I shall proof him wrong *sticks out tongue*





I have more pictures than you! Bleah~

All these photos are from TUMBLR :D haha.... Don't you just love the Disney? They are the classics! :)

In moment like this

This week, I'm not really in the best of moods. It just takes one simple comment, one simple night and one simple letter to change it all.

As much as i respect him, the trust that i had has now dropped. I no longer know what is true or untrue.

Today during worship Ali said something which kinda gave me a reminder that no matter how bad or horrible life is at the moment, we shouldn't stop praising God. The moment she said that, it shook me. I had actually forgotten about this. After years and years of scene playing, I had actually forgotten about praising God in moments like this.

I think I've been trying to run away, to avoid the problems. But I know, I have to face them and no matter how far i pushed it away, it'll come back eventually.

- Serve
- Pleasing

Somehow, God spoke to me in many ways for the past 2 days either through my quiet time or through Sundays. As much as i rely on God for his strength and grace, I know that I too have to do something because, He can do a million things for me, but if I do not respond, no matter how much help he has provided will be nothing.

In moment like this, I sing of a song.
I sing of a love song to Jesus.
In moment like this, I lift up my hands.
I lift up my hands to the Lord.

Singing I love you Lord,
Singing I love you Lord.
Singing I love you, Lord
I love You.

Just sometimes...

Sometimes its not very nice to blog about personal life matters. But, sometimes, you just have to get it out.

I think every year (that's if i did update regularly), one of my post would definitely be about family issues. And today, Ta-da. Family issues.

My mom always tell me never to marry a guy like my dad, which i both approve of and disapprove of, but I'm standing more to the approve side. I mean, come on, we learn as we grow even if it means we are old. So yes, today something happened which leads to this post.

Sometimes i wonder, how is it possible for someone to have possibly 2 sides to them to the fact that you trust and agree with them but to only find out in the end that, what they say might not be the absolute truth. And this, it hurts my head to think. To trust or not to? It happens so that the people i respect most turns out to be those of whom i can't really figure out.

I wrote him a letter. Because it seemed so much better than talking. But writing letters mean that there would be an awkward moment.

Sometimes, i really wonder, shouldn't you love a person for who he/she is and not what he/she is? Doesn't it take both hands to clap and while the other party is already giving in, shouldn't you not take advantage over that fact but also give in a little too? Isn't this what makes a happy marriage?

To give and take.

I love this Video :)

It wont stop

I've been doing the videos the past few days, and watching movies while doing them. But i think i'd spent more time on the movies than the videos, and that's probably why i sleep so late every night.

This whole week, i have to reach school at 9a.m. - French Class.

I want to sleep in and wake up late everyday.....

Just like that

I've been wondering what i should post about today, and through the week, I had a few things in mind that i wanted to write about: the sleepless nights i had before exams, the days before my brother changed his room etc.

Well, I don't really feel like writing about all these now, and with that, I don't think I have much else to right about.

Just a note to self: Don't think about things that are a waste of brain cells and brain space. Although it might keep coming back, just push it aside.

Girl's Nite Out

Okay, this might be a little 2 much - 2 posts in a day. But, who cares right?

Anyways, went out with the girls , Yong and Kah, for dinner just now and we had a heart-to-heart-talk during and after the meal. I wonder how long has it been since we last chatted like that.

I think it's really good to share your feelings with people sometimes.

It unloads burdens.

All about Worship - again

I got this off from Sarah's blog.

I played for Chinese Corp's service yesterday morning, and I actually really enjoyed playing for them. It was very professional, simple and no frills, but at the same time it sounded very good. No one was fussing over sounds and the mixing, or instruments, or the music or any of that stuff. Even the rehearsal was the same way. We worked through the bumps and musicality in such a simple manner but that achieved what was needed. Not that those things are bad in and of themselves, but I think they had the right idea and mindset about what really is most important. You get there and pray before you start, pray when you end, pray before the service, and I think we prayed after the service too. There's no reason why I should be, but I was presently surprised. And you get the sense from being there and later from talking that they all are there happy just to serve (every single week, I might add), and it showed. That for me was most important - just love and service and no external fussiness or distractions. The icing on the cake was that the people were wonderfully gracious and very nice. I was quite embarrassed by their thanks actually. Need to learn to be a gracious receiver. I'm rather sad that I'm leaving already, it would be nice to get to know people in that corp. I've seen them around for years and years, there just wasn't an occasion to get to know them. Story of my life. But I'm glad they caught me before I left, it definitely was a highlight of the last weeks back. Also, I've discovered that I enjoy singing Chinese songs and listening to a Chinese (or in this case, translated from English) sermon. It sounds very...musical. I'm rather rusty at Mandarin, but perhaps it's time to actually make good use of my bilingual Bible.

Truthfully, I have never thought of my service to Chinese corp in that manner before, until recently, before i read this post. Here's my life story:

I started serving in the worship ministry in Chinese corp since Pri 4, so, at times, i feel stagnant with my service there, especially when I'm given pressures from my parents or even the pastors from church. But like what I've said during the meeting with GY and the guys about leading worship, I do really mean it.

Worship starts from the heart, and although I have been serving with the worship ministry since young, I do admire the spirit the older people have in worshiping. My aunt had claimed that when people see the singers enjoying themselves during the worship, they too, will also worship joyfully. In fast songs, we have to sway to the beat. My aunt herself moves the most during worship. For slow songs, my cousin makes sure we sing with feelings. In conclusion, the worship team affects the congregation.

Okay, if you ask me to compare Chinese Corp's and English Corp's worship style, i tell you its completely on 2 different end.

The worship team in Chinese corp is mainly made up of the Hees' and we've been together since forever, and i really mean forever. My dad has been the ministry since i was in K2 or younger. I've watched the team grew, shrink and grew again - from having a full band of drummer, singers, violinist, keyboardist to just the hee's with only a keyboardist and a drummer, to what we have now. Because of the time spent together, we kinda know what expectations to have of each other, like sounding as one when we sing together, to move as a team. Taking into consideration 70% of the population there are old people, there's a limit to how much we can do.

I admit that at times, i felt like leaving the corp and just join another church, because i don't feel happy and i felt forced. But then, somehow or rather, I'll still remain because of personal and family matters.

English corp on the other hand, was the total opposite. Not in a bad way.

Both corps have different objectives to how the want a worship ministry to work and i think that it's alright. But sometimes i can't help by wonder, maybe we could incorporate some of the things both ways to each corp?

I think I'm a confused kid, like east meets west, all jumbled up. As a result, how I think might differ from some people. While, there's always room for improvement and its never too late for changes :)

The window

Chapter 2

When Doris was in grade 3, she became paralyzed from the waist down after being knocked down by a car in a hit-and-run accident. What made it worst was that the person who had knocked Doris down was Mr Gopal, Edward’s father. The doctor confirmed with the Colleens that unless a miracle happened, it was impossible for Doris to regain her strength to walk. Mr Gopal had denied being involved with the accident, and claimed that he was innocent. But with all the evidence pointing against him and his number plate taken down by a passer-by who had witnessed the accident, he had no choice but to plead guilty. He had been drinking when he was driving. He had also been speeding when he drove. Before he knew it, he heard a loud ‘bang’. Being in an unclear state of mind at that time, his first instinct was to run away. Least did he expect that the person he had knocked down was his neighbour’s daughter. Had he known, he would have immediately sent her to the hospital. Mr Gopal was charged with drink-driving and was imprisoned for 1 year and fined $5000. He also needed to compensate the Colleens and was fired from his job. His family had lost their sole breadwinner and to keep the roof above their head, Mrs Gopal had to juggle 2 jobs. Despite their anger with Mr Gopal for not being responsible with his actions which could have led to the death of their gem, they offered to pay for their school fees to ease the burden of Mrs Gopal. Instead of being thankful to them, Mrs Gopal rejected their offer spitefully and told the Colleens that it was their entire fault that her family was in this state and told Mr and Mrs Colleen not to shed crocodile tears. She would rather burn the money than to use it. This angered Mr and Mrs Colleen and they decided to break all connections with the Gopals. From that day onwards, they did not allow Doris out of the house and had her home tutored. They did not want her to communicate with the any of the Gopals.

For the past 5 years, Doris had been kept in the house. But Doris had a secret of her own. She had been secretly observing her neighbours especially Edward. She knew their every move and what they were like through observing. Everyday she would wake up earlier than anyone in the house and wheel herself to the kitchen and stare out of the window that was near the Gopal’s garden to see Edward do his morning chores before he went to school and later return to bed. At first Edward did not feel anything, but after awhile, he realized that Doris had been watching him. He decided to pretend that he did not know anything. One day, Edward did not turn up for his morning chores. This left Doris disappointed. As she was about to wheel herself back to her bedroom, something flew in from the window and landed on her lap. It was a bookmark with a pressed flower on it. She turned back to see Edward’s grinning face. She broke into a smile too.

This became Edward’s and Doris’s daily routine. Though they rarely spoke to each other, with an assuring smile to each other, they knew that it would keep them going for the day. They would pass messages to each other and occasionally, Edward would tell Doris a joke. Not long later, Edward’s chores were in the afternoon. During her tea breaks, she would find excuses to make her way down to the kitchen to take a look at Edward. Only the cook, Mrs Harrison, knew what Doris was doing and she would make snacks for both Doris and Edward to munch on during their secret meetings. During Doris’s 5^th year of confinement in the house, Doris’s frequent visits to the kitchen became suspicious to her mother. Ers Aolleen decided to go into the kitchen to see what Doris had been up to. Edward was feeling very playful on the same day that Mrs Colleen decided take a look in the kitchen. Not knowing that Mrs Colleen was also in the kitchen, he mischievously took the water hose to spray Doris. Thinking that her daughter was in danger, she pulled away her daughter’s wheelchair and was sprayed instead. Both Doris and Edward were shocked. The angry Mrs Colleen immediately shut the windows and pulled the wheelchair out of the kitchen. She then reprimanded Doris for seeing one of the Gopal without her knowing. She shouted for Mrs Harrison and scolded her for not stopping Doris from seeing Edward. She then forbade Doris from entering the kitchen at all and made sure the windows were shut all the time. Doris was devastated. The window was her only way of communication with Edward.

There's still more to Chapter 2, but, i cut it into half so it doesn't seem that long...

Sometimes

Sometimes,

there is just no one to talk to...

Be Still

My lesson of today - Be still and listen.

It all started when Guan You smsed me early in the morning to say that today's devotion asked him to shut up. Late at night i was thinking back about the sms, and was trying to look at it at a different angle and I came out with, be still and listen. So maybe that's what God is trying to tell impatient me.

I've been praying to God about something and have yet to get an answer. So this might be his answer, to be still and just listen.

Recently I've been thinking, why do i think of unnecessary things and cause myself to be think so much and worry. Maybe that's why i didn't have a good sleep last night.

All things I commit them into your hand, Lord.

Weird, i just feel weird.

Its just taking up my brain juice to think about it. But, i can't help feeling weird all over. Once I stop getting busy, it feels weird again. I don't want to feel weird, not now. Not at this point of time. Okay, my plan: Push it to the corner of my brains and ignore the feeling.






It still feels weird.