The Nature of God's Love

Sometimes when life gets discouraging, the best thing we can do is remind ourselves of the nature of God's love.

One of the most beautiful things the Bible says is that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (see Romans 5:8). He did not wait for us to deserve His love. He loves us unconditionally. To be honest, that's hard for many of us to comprehend because we are so accustomed to having to earn everything in life.

Because of His great, wonderful and intense love for us, God poured His life out for us freely. That is revolutionary love, real, revolutionary love that gives itself away because it can never be satisfied doing anything less.

It is God's unconditional love that draws us to Him, His amazing grace that erases our sin, and His powerful sacrifice that makes a way for us to enter His presence. His love will never quit, never give up, and never leave you. Whenever you feel down or depressed, remember the great love that God has for you

Prayer Starter: God, Your love overwhelms me. Even when I don't feel like it, I know that Your love never quits. You gave Your all for me, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that You love me.

- Joyce Meyer daily devotional

Never too late

#7 Thank you God for that apology I've waited to hear for almost 8 years.

That one apology could really lift all the past hurts away.

#8 Thank you God for turning something I dreaded into one with a surprising ending.

~~~

Ah ma's been diagnosed with last stage of dementia. I can't help but to feel a sense of guilt, like I had a part to her state of initial dementia. A series of what-if's keep flashing in my head: "What if I had spoken to her more when she was still in a clear state of mind? What if I had spend more time with her in her room?" What if, what if, a lot of what ifs... 

But I remember, the what if's are not thoughts from God, and that they are from the devil. Sure, I hadn't done those things, but Ah ma's not mine. She's God's and I just pray that even in her senile state she'll remember that there's this BIG God that loves her. I can only pray...

The other day it crossed my mind that I had always complained bout her, and seldom praises for her comes out. Well, Ah ma may be the empress dowager at home, but she ultimately has a kind heart and her curry's the best ever. I kinda missed her teasing me, asking me when I was going to get married, and her laugh and her smile. 

God, do with her whatever you want 'cos I know she's in great hands. Till the day she returns home with you, help me to be a better grand daughter. 

Not the best photo, but nevertheless :')

Rain, cycle and zombies

#5 Thank God for leading worship

(haven't felt this way in a while)

#6 Thank God for the rain, the cycling and the fellowship :))

It's been a tiring but awesome day. Gonna go dream about living zombies now...

Yurong's zombie preparation look

Let the little ones come near

Went to visit huimin today again :) I could just stare at the little one forever...

A lil encouragement

#4 Thank God for the people who bother.

Lord, I'm amazed by you. How you love me~

Father, please watch over my grandma and set your healing hands upon her. In Jesus' name, amen

A string of thanksgivings

We can go only so far in any human relationship. If we go beyond godly wisdom, we will likely be hurt. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that some people will never hurt us, only to be disappointed when they don't live up to those standards. No one's perfect.

The good news is that God is perfect and will not disappoint. He is always loving and good. Don't give trust to people that belongs to God, but rather, give yourself completely to Him. He alone is trustworthy.

Prayer: God, no human is perfect, but You are. I won't give the kind of trust to people that only belongs to You. You will not disappoint. I find comfort today in Your perfection.
- Joyce Meyers devotional

#2 Thank God for opportunity to teach Yu en

#3 Thank God for the creation of life

Hey again

I guess I've been pretty wary of what to put up online, where to channel my thoughts and such. There'll come a day when my brain will be too small to contain all that's inside, and hence the post.

One thing at a time... Maybe I should will embark on this new mission to thank God for one thing everyday.

So starting of with this first thanksgiving.

#1 Thank God for Keyboard lessons. It's been an amazing 5-months or so.

Gonna get my brains busy, and get started with things I've set out to do. This will take my mind of wandering thoughts, and maybe kick-start my discipline to do everything. I've been getting too lazy with things...

My walls are up, but it'll be down again, eventually. By God's grace. 

God is Love

Needed to unload something that has been constantly repeating in my head for the past few days.

Was reading my devotions on YouVersion one day and I was asked to think of one characteristic of God which was relevant to me at that point of time. Immediately, descriptive phrases came out like how God is slow to anger, patient etc. I knew those words came from somewhere.

All along, I knew that God is love, but I never got to putting the pieces together, until that ride on the train.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 

-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Replacing the word love with God. It was like a eureka! moment. This was a simple fact, and yet it took me so long to fully comprehend its meaning. 

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 

-- 1 Corinthians 13:13

Help me to love, God.

My BIG God

Take My Life, I Lay it Down

It's so hard to let things go some times. Often we pray and surrender them to God, but when troubles start flowing in, we panic and start to take everything into our own hands... I think it's good to have reminders every now and then.

Arms Open Wide

Take my life, I lay it down 

At the cross where I am found 

All I have I give to You, O God 

Take my hands and make them clean 

Keep my heart in purity 

That I may walk in all You have for me 

Oh here I stand 

Arms open wide 

Oh I am Yours 

And You are mine 

Take my moments and my days 

Let each breath that I take 

Be ever only for You, O God 

My whole life is Yours 

I give it all 

Surrendered to Your Name 

And forever I will pray 

Have Your way

Have Your way 

Blogger with a new look

Blogger has a new look!

Okay, not the best starting line for a blog post ever, but as usual, I'm blogging only because I'm bored with nothing much to do (or just plain reluctance to do anything)...

Photos take during Ah Ma's birthday Celebration

Ah, it's true... This new blogger format is sooo much better than the old one! I don't have to copy and paste the pictures that I add in or drag them around and they have a caption function. Hooray for the new look!!!!

It's amazing how God places songs or things to say in my head way before their due time. Sometimes, however, I feel that the songs I choose or the words I say are to make me look good. Said a short prayer to myself on my way home when this thought came up to mind: God, let the words that come out from my mouth, and the songs that I sing not be something that makes me look or sound good, but instead makes You the star of the entire worship. 

It's scary how such thoughts can just suddenly popped into people's minds.

I think I'd better write this down too, just so in case I forget the answer that I've found to my question. Sometimes I (we) feel that pre-believers who turned to Jesus have better testimonies to share, and they have a higher chance of transforming people's lives with their testimonies. It was until recently that I thought it through that Christians born of a christian family are of an equal position. It's through them that we see that no one is made perfect. Even when born into a christian family, it doesn't mean that we don't err. I realised that when sharing, these are somethings that we can share. The stupid mistakes that we made and the lessons we learn from them, by the grace of God.

Am I making sense? Hmm...

I guess I've always been wary and rather afraid of going out to evangelize to strangers. I think God make all of us different, even in the way we reach out to pre-believers. So until the day God really shakes me up and tells me it's time to step out of my comfort zone and go out, I'll do what I'm doing now....

blog through phone

Okay, gonna try blogging through phone. So, test test.

Pictures of food from nydc ;D

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Sigh..

I have nothing going on in my head. Why? When I piece things together, it just jumbles up and becomes a whole big of nothingness. I want something to pop out man.

Spontaneity

This has been a really interesting week.

1) Spontaneous Ben and Jerry's interview - Got Accepted
2) Spontaneous buy of my new Canon Ixus 230 HS
3) Chatting with a nephew (sec 3 this year) whom I've not really saw or spoken to in years - we really hated him last time, but he's grown into a fine young man with dreams.

Funny how my almost boring week can turn out so interesting, kinda. Its funny how time can change someone and their perspectives of something. Well, maybe 'cos our thoughts mature as well?

Will take more pictures with my cam, once i figure out how to use it properly. Oh oh oh, maybe we could plan a cousin outing? Hmm...

NUS Open House tmr, wanna go to bed but my hair's still wet.

Home :)

I'm HOME! from Shanghai and Bali :)

Bali was a nice getaway, though I wasn't totally right into the holiday, maybe cos I just returned from another country, and I didn't really feel a need for a break from homeland. In any case it was a good time spend in Bali with my poly clique and in lovely, sunny Bali. I love the villa, the private pool, our personal cook and our driver Wyane!!! I'm a little lazy to upload the picture i took from my phone, but the Sony Ericsson phone camera does take very good pictures :D Well of course, you have to see the person taking the picture too ;)

But somehow, in the middle of the trip, I felt a little lost among my friends. Maybe cos I've been too long away from them, so felt a little distant. I didn't have time to adjust myself back with them.

And then there's jealousy. Is it normal? Somehow it feels like I'm trying to fit in with the group. Guess time will slowly help me adjust.

I think my post-Shanghai sickness is starting. However, it feels like I've never left Shanghai -.- (said by Yurong and Yong) But I know Yurong secretly misses me ;)

Now that I'm back home, I wonder how regular I'll be updating my blog.

Gonna take time to adjust back to my ministry, meetings with people and settling some admin stuff.. Yum Cha tmr, Driving Centre and maybe facial on Wed, prbly visiting Xiao Ling Jie and Titus on Thurs or Fri.

As of now, my official job: bumming around and catching up with people.

short prayer

Dear God,

Grant me peace and love in a situation like this. I really feel super mad and ridiculous at this whole thing. It doesn't help with the whole esteem situation as well. So God, help me to love them and give me a peaceful heart, not to think of this thing anymore.

Thank you God.

In Jesus's name I pray,
Amen.

Sweet Memories

Cousin introduced this to me, worth a read:

http://jeremysng.wordpress.com/2010/05/08/some-things-i-remember-from-the-90s/

Really miss those days hanging around the mama shop to talk to friends, with my favourite snack: Calbee Chilli chips and Pokka Grape Aloe Vera drink. Somethings maybe a hot dog with chilli or pizza bread.

Everything is Beautiful..

Everything is Beautiful - Ray Stevens

I first heard this song when I was in pri 6, love this song particulary because of the first verse :) Anyways, I said I wanted to share about the women's conference that happened last sunday. I think God really put many new thought into my head. I've never thought of how each of us have our own flesh pattern. The new insights she gave to the bible stories which i've heard since young were really refreshing.

She mentioned the one of Abraham and isaac. Abraham "sacrificed" Isaac at the top of the mountain. I'd always thought God wanted to test Abraham and his faith in God. But Pastor jennifer really put me in a new light. She said that in a way Abraham did scarificed Isaac. Isaac was Abraham's flesh, something that Abraham held on dearly to, but on the altar, he sacrificed that flesh to God, giving Him control. I was like, Wow, this was somethigns I've never thought of before.

My favourtie phrase was "God takes our strength and make it our weakness, so that he can take the weakness and make it into His strength." Lovely phrase. Can't remember what story she took it from but I remember she mentioned God breaking the thigh bone of someone, and the thigh bone is the strongest bone in the human body.

Oh one other thing that I've never thought of was how God uses us as intercessors with our prayer. Pastor Jen used the story of Moses praying for his people and God relented as an example. Someone questioned why would God changed his mind. She answered that He didn't. Because He knew the depths of his heart, he told Moses his plan to destroy the people, wanting Him to be an intecessor for his people. I think that God's really Cool man!

Julie, Evelyn, Anne and Linda were amazed at my doodles in the notebook. I doodle with sense ok! It's the only way to keep me awake during her lessons. The sermon syndrome. But in any case, it kept me awake, sort of :)

On another note, here's a picture of my beloved nephew :)

I like how his face lits up when he smile. FYI, he's sleeping.

Joe Yong is coming to Shanghai tomorrow, finally!!! Wooo~~ So excited about the things we're gonna do :) Will update on that, if i don't forget from all the fun i'll be having when she's here. AHahahahha..

Three more days of work (excluding today). Can't wait, and I need to get started on the reccomendations thing, today. When yong's here I'm pretty sure i won't be in a mood to work at all, like how I am already. Been browsing through youtube almost everyday

Countdown List
1 more day - Joe Yong's arrival in Shanghai
9 more days - Home sweet home :D
11 more days - Bali Grad Trip

Baby Titus II

Soon, I tell you, soon, this will be a blog for Titus, named - Titus' Growth Journal <3 <3

Aww man, he's so cute *drools*~~

More Beautiful You

Jonny Diaz
More Beautiful You

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl


Note: Wanted to put in the music video, but they've disembled the video. Nice song :)

A week more :)

I can't believe it, only a week more left to internship :D :D :D (that is ezcluding today). OH man, boy am i excited for joe yong to come over.

I really have to thank God for his awesome timeliness. The rental problem has been settled within a night :) That's one worry down. Well, my uni application is (almost) completed.

Can't wait for tonight to come, Julie, Linda, Carmen, Annie, Anne and myself are gonna be staying in the hotel for the Women's conference happening today and tomorrow. Will update about the event soon. I think God has big plans.

As for Me and My House - John Waller

Powerful song, they played this song during offering last Sunday and I was greatly moved by this song.

Countdown List
8 more days - Joe Yong's arrival in Shanghai
16 more days - Home sweet home :D
18 more days - Bali Grad Trip

Valentines' Day

Happy Valentine's Day One and All~~~

It's Forever Alone Day too :D :D :(

Spedning Valentine's Day at work with my love - the computer. Thanks God for my cousin who's also at work. Well, finally (almost) done with my NTU application, just waiting for Uncle Bob, Wai Aung and Miss Chan to reply to me email/message about the appraisal. And now, to move on to the very much messy NUS application.

I'm considering a lady night for the lonely, moi, tonight - Manicure :) But na, the guitar strings will spoil my nails and it would defeat the purpose of the manicure, perhaps a pedicure? But in this winter, who can i show off my toes to.. They're better in the warmth of my socks and shoes. Haha.

Anyways, I have a house viewer tonight, can't go anyway but home. I'll binge on strawberries and snacks to make my night better :)

Countdown List
11 more days - Joe Yong's arrival in Shanghai
19 more days - Home sweet home :D
21 more days - Bali Grad Trip

*Hooots~~!!!*

" Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. "

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Uni Application

NUS Application, why you no convenient???

I've been working on my application to NUS and NTU, actually mainly NTU. NUS's appliation form is driving me nuts - everything is in the same page and it can't be saved! Meaning to say, i have to retype everything once i close the browser :(

It's so inconvenient to do application when I'm overseas :( There's no access to my results, my certs etc. And my so very "efficient" brother has not send me the scans either. GAAHHH... Okay, I'm not gonna stress myself. Tonight, I shall work on the 300 words essay for NTU, and the 300-2000 words essay for NUS -- YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE???

8 days before application closes. God, please help me...

Need to request for appraisal from Uncle Bob and a letter of reccommendation from my supervisor. I should send him an email soon....

Countdown List
12 more days - Joe Yong's arrival in Shanghai
20 more days - Home sweet home :D
22 more days - Bali Grad Trip *Hooots~~!!!*

Here's a new song that I've fallen in love with :) Nice melody and Lyrics

Reign in Us - Starfield

More pics of baby Titus :D

I'm in love *drools*

Can't wait to be back to carry him :) Wait for me Titus, auntie is coming home...

(unofficial) End of Intership

I've been waking up more tired than ever even though I sleep in earlier than usual. Body, what's wrong with you???

Anyways, it's been a long week - troubles and all. And I thank God that I've pulled through, Yipee~~

I really am blessed with such a nice and awesome supervisor! For one, I had feared the little but kinda major mistakes I made during the event would pull my final assessment grades down, but I still got good grade and much encouragements from him.

"At the end of the day, your grades doesn't really matter."

I was relieved when he shared that its okay to make mistakes and that he won't mark me down for the mistakes I made. He had made a graver mistake before. All in all, he's awesome.

God's Awesome too :D

Gonna make a Countdown List to keep my spirits up high:

17 more days - Joe Yong's arrival in Shanghai
25 more days - Home sweet home :D
27 more days - Bali Grad Trip *Hooots~~!!!*

Alright, now to get started on my 1000-word learning journey report for KK, and to apply for the local unis.

growing pains

It really amazes me to see how much the years can change someone. Back then, we were all young kids running around the house, playing house and being ourselves. As the years go by, little by little we change.

Maybe it's because i'm far away from home, it makes me feel like everything is as it was in 2011, we were all from that age and we remained at that age.

There's so much out there to see, the freedom we own as we get older. Bu the truth is, I don't really wanna grow up so fast...

那些年。。。

Was looking through some of the posts I wrote when I was 14 and I found this :D Man, I love this picture a lot, partly because I think I look quite pretty here, heheh. They say that good hair days comes once in a blue moon, and indeed. I think mine's a purple moon. Gosh Yong, I totally didn't remember that hairstyle of yours, PUAhHAHAAHAHAhahahah

Is that Jing Shen at the back? For a moment it looks like Jeremy K.

We had the same top and necklace :D

Ah, boy do i miss those days... Think I was slim-er at that time. Anyways, its back to work - report at lunch.

*Chants: No procrastination, no procrastination, no pracrastination*

Loving it

This week's gonna be a busy week, and i love it :D

Something from Commissioner's blog :)

Shows for Thoughts :D

So, I've been watching a lot of movies and shows this past few days. In fact, i've been drama hopping.

Between

Scent of a Woman (Korean)

And...

Misaki No. 1 (Jap)

Good thing both of them aren't really long dramas. Scent of a Woman has 16 episodes while Misaki No. 1 has 10. Thank God! Don't think I can get through long soapy dramas. Been trying to get my cousin to watch the Jap drama. Somehow I find this drama very animated. Its like watching an anime with real life beings.. Haha. But still nice, nothing heavy, light-hearted and funny :) I think the group of 5's really good looking, especially the one with curly hair :D Gonna return to my Korean drama after I'm done with the Jap drama - two more episodes.

Anyways, I watched this really heart-warming movie called Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. It's a movie based on a novel by Lisa See. I think I've read the book before, but can't remember when though. Well, it stars Li Bing Bing, Jun Ji-hyun, Vivian Wu and Hugh Jackman.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan movie

Well, thank you Pepe for the nice recommendations :D Will start on Goong S (maybe) when I'm done with the rest.

Aim: to finish my report by this week...

Baby Titus

My handsome, cute and dashing nephew <3

Man, I wanna hold him and carry him :( He's gonna break many young girls heart when he grows older ;')

Secrets - One Republic (Jayesslee Cover)

Gosh, I really love their voice. And they just keep improving over the years.

How Great is Our God

Awesome song :D

初七

So while my dear friend Shella is sleeping soundly at home, Jolene is at work, working hard (not).

Anyways, discovered a new thing to keep me entertained during work :) - Christianradio.com. I wonder why I've never thought of looking up for an online christian radio before. But thanks to Anne, I did :D

Found this while reading Celine's blog sometime back. I took a snapshot of what she wrote firstly because it brightened my boring afternoon and secondly, it brightens my dull blog...

I SHOULD CHANGE BLOGSKIN! Change it to something brighter yet still simple. Alright, more things I can do to kill time at work :D

Gonna work on my report during my free time at work.

Think i'm gonna keep adding stuff to this post till i have nothing left to add or when adding pictures on blogger starts getting on my nerve. It's so stupid :(

From Carissa's Twitter

Saw this on twitter. I guess I never really thought about worship in this manner before. I think many times we are like that, expecting each experience during worship to be the same as the previous's, but many a times we forget that each experience, each encounter that we have with God may never be the same.

This is from my today's reading:

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all."
1 John 1:5

I'm two more books to finishing the new testament. Old testament would be a great challenge.

Can't wait for dinner with Pepe tonight :) Craving for curry now....

New Year's Blues

It's day 3 of CNY, and this has been my daily routine.

Wake up
Eat
Watch Shows, movie etc.
Eat
Watch more shows, movies etc.
Sleep

My mundane life... And gosh, I really really miss home :'( I miss my family, my cousins and my friends.

Well, at least today's been productive. I've recorded two songs. Will upload the songs some other time... Really love this two songs. I'm not the best singer you can find, but I have to admit, one of the spiritual gifts that God has given me is my gift of music. Well, I'm no master of it, but it's better than nothing right?

Today I've been reminded once again how as Christians we need to be watchful of the way we behave and the things we say, whether if it is Christ-like and ultimately, if it would reflect well upon ourselves. Well, we wouldn't do unto others the things that we don't want to happen unto us... That's my belief.

Ending off with these verses:

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."

1 Peter 5:8-11

Chinese New Year

It's two days to Chinese New Year :D

I found this on Commissioner Lim's blog, it's a good read :)

http://burninginthebones.blogspot.com/2012/01/culture-and-our-faith.html

Yea, Cos there's nothing better to do..

Just read my old posts and gosh, I can't help but to laugh at what I've written. Ahhahahah... *tears in the eyes*

I guess my writing did mature as the years go by. And yea, I've cut down on the number of "....." I use after each sentence and I'm actually trying very hard to use proper english when typing (Give me some credit, i've really been trying since mass comm happened)...

It's gonna be a lonely CNY this year - Julie, Wee Sham and Linda are back in Singapore. Man, I've no new clothes to wear and no angbao to collect this year :( And I won't be spending time with my cousins this year.

Worst of all, I HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW!!! :( :(

Mom, keep my angbao for me please *puppy eyes*

Hello

Well I guess this is my first official post for the year. HAHAHAHA...

Not much of a writer (i'm just plain lazy to write ok...) But I'm bored with having nothing much to do, so the next best thing I could do was to type a blog post.

Well, last year's gone pretty fast. I still remember the surprise farewell happened not too long ago, and in a months time or so, I'm flying back to Singapore. heheheh.

I wonder what motivates one to keep updating their blog. Writing is one thing, keeping it interesting and entertaining is another.... Manda, how on earth do you do that?!?!

Ok, nothing's on the mind now. So i guess that's it then.. Erm, till then?




#I'm listening to - Just One Last Dance

How He Loves Us

How He Loves Us

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

He loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

Cause He loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

The words to this song are really really beautiful...

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Phillipians 4:13

Like a Child

I feel joy bubbling in me, like a child all in smiles.

I feel peace spreading in me, like the music fills the air.

The spirit comes knocking, and a voice’s calling,

Seek me child, and be in prayer.

Excitement rose, and God’s presence shows.

Sadness and despair peeling away.

Run to him.

Like a child, blameless and pure.

Like a child, hope and joy once restore.

Like a Child coming before God.

Today, I had an encounter with God. It wasn't like any other times. It was something different than the last few times.

First, I felt myself crumbling. My heart started pounding faster and faster. When Pastor Steve touched me, it was as if someone triggered of a spark in me. The next thing I knew, I was heaving very heavily . Very heavily. And then it slowly fade away. I knew at that time all I could think of was, "Don't go. Stay."

Then it was total numbness.

Everything was going on, moving around me. I could hear voices people talking. But there I was. Unable to move. Unable to talk at all. I wanted to suck in the drool that i know was about to fall but i couldn't. I lose total control of my body. It was like I, I've been paralyzed. My head was a total blank. I wanted to suck in the drool but someone was telling me, not too. Let it fall, don't care about anything around you. And sat there, unable to move. All this time I was crying out in my head, "Pray for me, pray for me"

My head started lowering, till it hit my chest.

The next thing I knew was that my leg started trembling. my left first, then the right. It started shaking vigorously and then it stopped. I woke up smiling. Smiling like never before.

I got up and walked towards Paster Paul and asked him to pray for me. I fell to my knees before he started. My legs were like jelly. He started praying and then it was the hand, then the whole body. It felt like my whole body was not in my control any longer. I was like jelly, and there was something controlling me. Controlling each and every movement. I knew i was on the floor, kneeling down and then laying down. I don't know how long i was on the floor for. I could her people talking, asking me if I was alright. Pastor explaining to them how it was not good to wake someone up.

I could her them talking, but my mind was blank. I switched positions quite a couple of times. But when I got up, i knew i was smiling, I felt joy in the heart. I couldn't stop smiling. I felt like a child reborn. My whole body still felt numb. Still not in my control, still jelly. I knew I got up, only to fall onto the ground again. There was joy.

Just joy. Just like a newborn child

I did things that were not in my control. It was an experience i know I will never forget.

There's so many things, so much i could say to express the joy. this joy i feel.

Ask me, and i shall speak.

Seek him. Seek him. Seek him.

I don't now what tomorrow holds. But I know that for now, for this time being, I'm refreshed. Whatever tomorrow holds, I shall not liveby them. I shall put everything in his hands.

Another thing I've learnt, Simple faith. Sometimes simple faith can be mistaken for arrogance and people fear them. But with faith, really, nothing is impossible.

So people out there. Even if there's no encounter with God, there'll be one day. You've just got to wait and that one day will come knocking at you at the most unexpected, most amazing time. And when that time comes, lose control of yourself and let God be in control.

Tsk tsk

I hate having to feel the way i do. I totally, absolutely hate it. Now, I'm just waiting for it to go away, like it always do everytime it comes. Will it?

HOls

I want to do so many things during this holidays...

1. Read a Christian Book
2. Get out off Singapore
3. Catch up with Crusade friends
4. Meet up Close friends
5. Read more story books
6. Complete my story from before
7. Sort out all my thoughts and feelings
8. Stay at home and do nothing at all
9. Save money
10. Sleep till the sun shines on my butt

The list can go on and on, but for now, 10 will do.

Today, or rather 4 hours ago we had combined cell. And boy do I have to admit, I'm getting old! They played "Freeze and melt", "virus", "werewolf," and "mmh chi chi". Out of all the games, 2 required running, and at the end of each round, or rather halfway through each round, I would stop and take a long break to catch my breath.

Note to self: Jolene, you need to start exercising more to catch up with the young ones.

Well, I guess it was fun and good watching the kids interact with each other through simple games like those.

Ok, gotta wake up at 8 plus in the morning tmr. Maybe I'll take a christian book out to read now?

Shh...

I'm waiting for my bro to sleep so I can on the light on do things, in the light. So, yes... I'm typing in the dark. If there was a prize for typing in the dark, I'll definitely win 2nd prize!

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately - relationships, work, friends etc. And I can't help but feel that everyone is drifting away from me. Friends, family, especially family. My cousin in particular. As much as I don't wanna force my opinions, there are times when I don't really approve of some things. But being typical me, I don't know how to say it without hurting feelings or without sounding like a know-it-all.

Maybe its my age that's catching up, making me feel that there are a lot of things which could have been done better, or should be done in another way. All these are making me feel unsatisfied and whiny.

Maybe because my closest friends are going on a different path, it makes me feel lonely and sad. Maybe because they were always around when I needed them, or just because they are around, and even though I don't talk to them, their presence comforts me.

Oh, the light is on! Jeremy's gonna come in to do work.

As I was saying, although I don't have talk much to them, I knew they'd be around when I needed to approach someone. But now that I know they're gonna be MIA for at least a few months or a year, I can't help but feel sad...

Just maybe because, maybe because. I'm starting to sound like a old hag.

Alright, its back to studies for me.

Amazing grace

Another variation of Amazing Grace

Everlasting God

Nice Version of Everlasting God by Lincoln Brewster

You're 21!

Oh yes, although you wouldn't even see this, but here's one for you!

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY ERIC!!!

Although you keep pang seh-ing us, and bo jio-ing us,
we love you all the same. Touching right?

Boy to Man

That was the tagline for the slideshow today.

Today was David's enlistment day. Its was nostalgic seeing him enter the camp. And yes, I'm gonna miss having him around. Hopefully this blur sotong will become for alert and bright :D At least, Jin Le would be around to watch his back. Not always, but its good to enter camp with a good buddy right?

But today got me thinking about how soon, the 3 guys in my house will all fly away into camp turning from boys to real men. As much as I want them to mature, I'm gonna miss babying them (with exceptional of the oldest one). Haha, gosh, I sound like a mom. What to do? Who ask me to be the only girl at home. Stop growing so fast!

Then I thought about how women have to send the men off into army during war time, and to wait helplessly for their return.

I've been rather angsty and impatient the past few days, and I really don't know why is that so. Is it 'cause I've lack of sleep.

Where got time?

I'm really amazed at how my cousin can afford time to post about her life!

Well, that day when Clarissa say, "How do you know whether God exists? It's through other people's life". I paused for a moment and started thinking whose life have I seen God's work. The immediate person that popped out in my mind was my very dear cousin.

I've been watching her, from the day she came to knew and accepted Christ. I guess, being the older one i can't help but always wonder if she really knew who God was or whether she was doing it for some unknown reason etc.

But lately I've come to realise that God was working in her life. And that is a very great encouragement :)

Can't wait for Chinese New Year to come around and once it's here. I don't want it to end = deadlines :(

I think i spent quite a lot this month... Must cut down!

New Year Resolution:

- Read a christian book
- Lose 3 kg
- Spend more time studying
- Spend more time with cell

One by one...

They are all gonna enter into the world of manhood... Guns and all...

Why do I feel saddened by that?

I really should be doing work :P

I really should be doing my school work, but as you can see... I'm too lazy to get started...

Well, went to Uncle's house today and it was a good harvest. Well, uncle is this cleaner in my school who does calligraphy on my school tiles. He really is a very inspirational person. Mind you, his 83 this year and he builds his on stuff from scratch. He built wooden chairs, a brush stand, a door frame etc. He say he used to be a carpenter. I really admire his energy level and his ability to move around so vividly.

My shopping list: get uncle new papers for calligraphy, and occasional snacks :)

So, I've decided against coming up with a post for my Korea trip. Its too long and I'm too busy for that. Maybe when I've time. Instead, I shall put up pictures here and then and describe them :D.

Day 1 in Korea, Group photo outside the palace

Day 2 in Korea at the Ski resort. The youths.

Us, with Brian, Ethan, Tim and Matt at the
top of the Ski mountain.

Day 4/5 - At the top of the mountain where everyone was
freezing, people got blown away by the strong wind.

The last picture is my favourite group shot :) That was when everyone knew each other quite well already. Unlike the first 2 shots, we were much closer - in distance. I miss those days :( Looking forward to March though! haha.

Alright, hopefully, typing this post has gotten me started with my thinking process and inspiration for my work. Till then :)

I've got a feeling

There's this type of feeling.

You feel that it's there, but yet, you know its not suppose to be there. It's wrong but yet you can't help it.

It feels like it, but yet again, it feels another.

It's 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!! :)

So, here's how I spent my first day of the new year.

After watch night service, we, a whole bunch of us, went to Meng Ren's grandfather's wake. Well, I think it was a different yet enriching day. I expect MR's grandmother to be sad and all, but no, she was happy and cheery. She told us about how she know that she was going to heaven after she pass away, and that thought, going to heaven to meet everyone makes her very happy.

Truthfully, that was the first wake I've been to where I don't see a depressed spouse. It reminded me yet again that to know God is really a privilege and that we shouldn't take that fact for granted.

On the side note, I don't like people who gamble during a wake. Ya, it can get boring staying there the whole morning, but come on, its kinda disrespectful.

We reached back in corp around 4 plus in the morning.

On New Year's eve, me and yong went to visit Brian and his family. Mainly to visit Ethan and to see their house. We brought dragged Brian to watch night service :)

Actually I have so much in mind that I don't know what to type. I'm supposed to post about Korea, but I'm kinda lazy now. Haha. Shall do it some time later when I'm more free.

For now, it shall be back to doing my awful website :(

It's my birthday :)

It's my birthday!!! I'm old :(

Materialistic

Materialistic:

–noun

1. A person who is markedly more concerned with material things than with spiritual, intellectual, or cultural values.

2. An adherent of philosophical materialism.

–adjective

3. Concerned with material things; materialistic.

4. Of or pertaining to philosophical materialism or its adherents.

Ok. Like what I've highlighted, I guess that best describes me now. Because of a malfunction wardrobe/closet/cupboard, I just want to get new clothes, new shoes, new bag and new underwear. It's bugging me and it's not good :(

I sense the pressure rising... SO MANY THINGS DUE NEXT WEEK!!! And i have yet gotten a single book to review on yet :( Sigh...

Birthday, birthdays...

Today is Jerrold's, Ellen's and Celine's <3 Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THE 3 OF YOU!!!

And in a week's time it'll be my birthday :)

Some time ago, I was thinking out loud to the people in school that I never really had a surprise birthday at all. Shery went, "Where got? We did one for you last year..." Then I remembered the sheep that she and Sam went looking around for me as a gift. Then I went , "Oh ya..."But, that's all I remembered - the sheep.

But when I got back home to think about what Shery said, I did indeed had a surprise birthday celebration. Although it was a short one, but it was a sweet and touching one. I remembered I was almost in tears.

I was at Jesca's place helping her with her LocVid AP. Late that night, they surprised me with a birthday cake. 'Cos my birthday was a few days ago, I had least expected the cake and what more, a celebration. So, it was the first surprise birthday celebration I ever had. A short and sweet one :) For the past few years, I always had to look for people to celebrate my birthday with me, but that one day, as cliche as it sounds, I felt special - like a little girl :D

Yesterday was David's birthday. We went to his house to surprise him. Kuang came up with this brilliant idea - He told David that Jin Le and him were going to his house to swim, and the plan was for the rest of us to turn up and surprise him.

The plan kinda changed. Kuang, JL, Rebe, MC and me, we met up at ard 9.45 a.m. to buy David's cake. The initial plan was to called David down to the swimming pool, but it was raining. Kuang called Deena, David's sis, if we could go up instead to surprise him, and we did.

Both Deena and her mom were super cooperative. They let us into the house and entertained David while we set up the cake and light the candle. Judging from the number of times David scratched his head, I dare say he was very surprised with us appearing.

Ooo, we got him this cake.

Winnie the pooh

Us :)

We spent the rest of the day playing Cluedo - a very fun game.

Well, December is always the best time of the year, and the poorest time of everyone's year.... But, as the bible says : To give is better than to receive.

I can't agree more on that...

The Imam and the Pastor

Oh yes! I went to help out at a Community Leader's Conference today, and boy was it insightful.

I never knew that the Bible and the Qu'ran were so similar in many ways. Well, I did learn a lot of things today, and I've seen real examples of what a full grasp of bible knowledge can do.

Shall work hard...

Sing to East and the West

Went to Yurong's place to celebrate her 21 + 1 Birthday today.

There was a huge crowd.

Her place was very much prenankan, just like lao gou's shop. I was quite mesmerized with the antique at her place, especially the very much antique porcelain jar. I had actually wanted to open and peek in.

The highlight of today was, that there was finally an EAST PERSON in the whole crowd! YEAH :D

I got a lift home by Mark, Cheryl's "friend". He stays in the East and that's rare. The people from church are either from the North or the West.

I think God does surprise me sometimes. Here I am, wondering how on earth to get home. He always manages to make someone appear to agree to send me home.

Anyways, I thought that the trip back would be quite awkward, but I guess it was alright. Cheryl, if you happen to read this - I totally approve of him ;) Haha... And no worries, I didn't tell him anything about you except for the fact that you and your cousins threatened to harm us when we were young.

OH yes, it's past 12 midnight....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOW GUAN YOU!!! You're OLD now :D

Red Lorry Yellow Lorry

Try saying that at a faster pace. Faster now. Okay, that was just me being random.

This is the 2nd time i dreamed of being knocked down by a car. David say its Exhaustion. Maybe i just want to experience being knocked down by a car? Haha.

I'm really tired. Too tired to do anything in fact. I just want my bed and my sleep....

Procrastination

I should stop finding excuses and do what I'm suppose to :( But the fact is, it really is hard to do work in a noisy environment and all I wanna do now is to sleep...

Director's List

Something really surprised me. When she read out my name on the director's list, I was like, WOAH~ I was really really surprised and happy at the same time. But despite that, I've started to worry. What if I don't get on the list next semester? Will I be able to continue to improve?
Can i do better?

I think i really need to step up in faith and like how i always encourage the rest - to do my best and let God do the rest.

My song of the week :)

Groups and AAAAAHHHhhhh.....

The first week of school is when the terror begins. Not the modules and not the timings, but more of the groupings and the people.

So this week, I made an enemy and I hurt somebody. I feel guilt towards the person I hurt. To my new found enemy, I really don't feel anything towards you. But sometimes i just feel like - What?!, when i see you.

I never knew that forming groups could ever be so full of drama and politics. This is the first time I've ever felt this way. In a dilemma between what's beneficial towards myself or towards a relationship. I know the answer already, but when facing the problem, everything just comes back to - ME. As a result, feelings are hurt, enemies are drawn.

I would like to think of it as a learning experience. And it also got me reminded of how critical the world can be. Talking to the rest today had me reminded myself of how God really has a purpose for everything that we faced.

Today was NPDOP. I really gave a lot of thought on what happened the past 4 days - My attitudes and behaviours. Some of the things I've done weren't the best solution and not very Godly. But I'm reminded again that i shouldn't take things into my own hands but place everything into God's. There's so little I can do, but so much He can do.

I'd swung my phone onto the road right in front of the bus on my way home. I immediately picked everything up, after I've picked everything up, tapped my card and sat down, I realised that my phone battery was missing. I panicked and thought it was impossible to find it 'cos the bus could have run over my battery, but i knew i had picked everything up already so how could it have gone missing? I checked my seating area, but no, it was no where in sight. Finally i just gave up and told God that if it appears, it will.

Something told me to alight from the front 'cos my batt might have flung out of my hands when i tapped my card. Lo and behold, it really was there when i was about to alight.

Moral of the story: God shows miracles even with the slightest things.

This week, my aim: To not be confounded by the worldly things, and to constantly remind mself of the Fruits of the Spirit.

雨过天晴

Thanks for clarifying things with me :)

I thought today's sermon was quite interesting and impactful. There were many things that could be learn from the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with 5 loaves and 2 fishes. The most important thing i picked out was to have faith of a child - Simple Faith.

I guess that's what I'm really lacking of right now. Shall pray bout it.

It so happens when I feel down, everything I see or hear follows my mood. The songs playing, although i can't catch the words, just the tune can't further sadden me.

I don't know why its affecting me so much. I should just ask, and then clear my doubts.

Is it me?

Are you directing this at me? If so, I'll steer clear of you then

The Duck Song

Duck Song

Duck Song 2

Duck Song 3

Found this video during the last day of camp! Very entertaining... Haha :D

Have faith, I must

I have comments on my post :D Haha.

Long walks trigger thoughts. Or at least, that's what I believe. I had something in mind to post about for the week when I was in the car, but it disappeared when I tried recalling. Oh wells, I'll just post whatever that comes into mind.

Okay, i shall admit it. Nothing is popping in the head!

Oh, now here's something. This week, I learn that it is not as simple as it says to have faith. When i read the bible, thoughts like, did that really happen? Oh really? just pops into mind. That's when i know that doubts do arise every now and then, but what's most important is to have faith.

Somehow i feel that, every time I'm a little closer to God, i get pulled back a little too. It feels like a battle between the good and the evil. (This reminds me of Star Wars. Haha.)

My time table's out too, and I'm not at all happy about it :( But, i guess everything will be sorted out, in His time.

Hmm, shall get to work on the videos. O Inspiration, be upon me.

Just another Week

There wasn't much to do online, but I try to make myself do stuff online. Why? I do not know the reason either. So anyway, I realised that there are people who actually read my blog.

I finally watched the Paul B. dvd that GY lent me. It was about creating flow during worship leading. It was similar to what Yurong said to me during our pre-worship. I guess it really was helpful, 'cos I did learn quite a number of things.

I thought today's cell was quite encouraging. For once, everyone in cell seemed 'alive'. I think one of the most important thing required during a session is laughter. Without laughter, the session would just seem so - dead. But then again, too much laughing can cause annoyance and irritant. I think i always worry when there's no one laughing after too long a while.

Laughter does somehow cease the tension during lesson. Appropriate laughter that is.

I guess the same goes when I give testimony. Somehow, I feel much more at ease when i see people smiling at me or laughing to what i say.

Okay, this post shall not get any longer, and i shall end it with a picture :)